are you still at the devil's house?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
