Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
