69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
