And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The beer is more important than you right now.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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