shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
