i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize