great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
