There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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