what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
