Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
