The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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