I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
