does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
