Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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