i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
