went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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