its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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