k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
