I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
