so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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