Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
