is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
