i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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