I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
