It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
