I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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