just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
