He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think people are normalizing furries
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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