Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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