You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
