Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
