first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
