i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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