Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
