Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
