Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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