I wish my penis had an off switch
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
