I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
