I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
