No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
