Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
