Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
