why didn't you poke me back
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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