There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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