addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
