Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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