am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
