you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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