Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
