my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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