Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
