I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
