Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
