I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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