Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
