did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Randomize
