I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
