While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
