am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize