Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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