i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
