Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
