yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
