apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize