Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
