Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
