omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I will pee on everything he values.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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