it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
