dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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