I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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