So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
