We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
