I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
